Kevin Bell

Letter To Brooks

đź“ť Letter To Brooks

Brooks, my little man; I love you already and you’re not even here yet. Mom has had all the time with you so far, but I’m confident that you and I will become buds in no time.

I’ll be completely honest, up until this point, I have been a girl dad with your sisters. That’s all I know. I was an only child, so I didn’t even have a brother that I grew up with. My experience with raising a man has only come from my personal experience of BEING a man. Which definitely gives me an advantage on someone who has not been a man ;)

I don’t know if that’s good or bad, or just facts, but nonetheless, it’s definitely given me something to think about. And that’s really the root of this letter. I’m not sure when you’ll read it, or IF you’ll ever read it, but I wanted to put these thoughts out there and process through them as my fingers hit the keyboard on what lessons I could pass on to you now before I have the opportunity to meet you.

What have I learned so far about being a man… About life. Family. Success. Failure. Growth. Careers. And everything in between.

I wanted to pour this out to you, raw and uncut so that one day, if you ever come across it, you might gain an insight to your mom and my parenting style, who we are and the method to our “madness” :)

I love you so much, buddy! I can’t wait to meet you and I pray that these lessons here only scratch the surface for what I teach you in real life and for what you learn all on your own.

  1. Your spouse is a secret weapon — I feel this way about your mom. And I think that the secret to success is having the right partner that supports you and even joins you on your pursuits. They might not have the same pursuits as you, and that’s okay. But as long as they see that you need to pursue whatever it is that you’re pursuing and stand behind you along the way. If they have their own pursuits as well, even better. Just make sure that you support them as they support you. Ambition is a powerful thing, but it can be destructive when it’s selfish ambition. Your WHY needs to be stronger than individual success. Your spouse and family needs to be included in that. Getting your spouse on board and for them to “stay in the fight” with you is something that holds far more weight and influence than most people think.

  2. Time flies — When you’re a kid, you don’t realize this. You feel like you’re a kid forever. You feel like you’re going to school FOREVER. You feel like mom and dad are telling you what to do forever… It’s not always fun. I remember thinking that I can’t wait to be an adult. Like my life would really start as an adult. Now that I am one and have 3 kiddos, I’m hit with the reality that TIME FLIES. And all I want is for it to slow down. It was just yesterday that Arrie was born and I became a dad. Then I blinked and Emmy came along and then I blinked again and I have you. Its so tough because your mom and I are in this building phase of the family right now and we want to get through this phase and on to the other side… but we also don’t want these times to end. I’m telling you on the other side of things that time really does fly. You’re probably going to hear that phrase until you look like someone who already knows it. I’m here to confirm that at a certain point, the years roll by way faster. So what do you do about it? Well, you have to be intentional with the moments you’re in RIGHT NOW. You have to remind yourself that the moment you’re in right this very second won’t ever happen again. I am often reminding myself that with your sisters (you’re not here yet). I’ll get home after a long day and they have SO much energy ready to go for me. Of course I’m tired sometimes, but It’s in those moments that I have to tell myself that I only have a very few years where they will be that excited to se me when I get home. Then they’ll be too cool for me. Time flies, be intentional about each moment you’re in.

  3. Find your passion — Most people walk through life on autopilot. They are ok just being ok. They are just barely getting by, barely making it from place to place and totally satisfied with mediocrity. There’s a ton that can be attributed to all of that, but one thing that I think plays a major role is that those people have not found their passion. Or maybe they did and they let it go or gave up on it. We all have that fire inside of us that can be brought out for something, we just have to find that something. The fire exists in all of us, it’s just a matter of finding what awakens it. And when you do, when you find something that keeps you up at night thinking about it and wakes you up in the morning because you can’t wait to get to it, then you know. Through life, you’re going to have multiple passions. You’ll find new things that generate that fire inside. You might have that fire and passion for multiple things at the same time. That’s normal! As long as you find the fire, that’s all that matters. When you do, when you find something that you love that much and feel obsessed to pursue, DO IT! It might not always be easy, it might not be cheap or practical, but find a way. When we can find a way to pursue a passion at all costs, greatness is waiting around the corner. NOTE: I’m talking positive passions here, not destructive ones. If you need further clarification, just ask me :)

  4. Don’t be afraid to find stability — Entrepreneurship can be glamorized. I know that I am heavily involved in different entrepreneurial projects and maybe by the time you’re reading this I’m fully on my own as an entrepreneur, but it didn’t start that way and I’d truly recommend that IF you choose the entrepreneur path, that you also find stability along the way so that you can integrate, experiment and build without too much worry. A stable career/ job is so incredibly underrated. Me being a police officer has allowed for us to have a nice home, a comfortable life, insurance, benefits, and so many other perks as I have built everything up on the side. Yes, sometimes my schedule has been crazy and I’ve been forced in for overtime or I’ve had to work late and miss some events. And yes, the work can be dangerous at times and definitely not as cool as the movies make it out to be, but it has allowed for a pretty good life. It is stable and secure, and because of that, it has allowed me to fail without worry. I have been able to start businesses, buy storage units, buy other businesses, start podcasts, write newsletters, etc. I’ve been able to do all these things knowing that my paycheck comes from the police department and I can make mistakes as an entrepreneur until I get it right. Stability is another secret weapon. Don’t be afraid to have that stability while you chase the fire inside you.

  5. You don’t need a lot of friends — You might not fully get this until you’re older, but you really don’t need a ton of friends. You just need a close group of dudes that get you, know you, love you, and can challenge you. This will take time and the filtering of life. You’ll go through your school years and make a bunch of friends, but then when you graduate high school, that’s the first big filtration level. The friends that remain, hold on to. You’re also going to gain new friends in college. As life continues and you leave college, you hit another filter. Same with getting married and having kids and whatever career you have. All of these are filters. Friends that stay with you through all of that, hold on to TIGHT. There might only be 2-5 at the very most that hang on. That’s all you need. Those are your boyysss. Your lives might change and you might be separated by states or careers or even countries, but whenever you can, HOWEVER you can, stay connected with those guys. When you go to battle, those are the guys that will stand next to you ready to fight.

  6. Be genuine. It’s okay to be different — You’re going to get pulled every direction in life. People are going to want to impose their ways on you and for you to agree with them and be like them. That’s natural. That’s how people are. People are generally focused only on themselves. Expect that. But also, just because they are the way they are, doesn’t mean YOU have to be like them. Be true to what YOU believe, what drives YOU. If that makes you the odd one out or for you to stand out from the crowd or for others to not like you for what you stand for, that’s okay. In order to get ahead, sometimes you have to stick your neck out a little bit.

  7. You only get one body — This is pretty self explanatory, but it’s important enough to say. You don’t get any other body than the one you have. Health IS wealth. If you live your life and ignore taking care of yourself, you’re not going to live as FULL of a life as you really could. And the cool thing is, you don’t have to complicate it. People just don’t know the basics and get lost in the noise of what everyone else is saying. Keep it simple— Move everyday in someway that you enjoy. I say move, but that’s really just a way to describe whatever you choose as your fitness. Walking, running, CrossFit, Jiu Jitsu, rock climbing, swimming, biking, WHATEVER. Just move. As far as diet, Eat lots of protein, throw in fruits and veggies regularly and minimize the junk food. Keep it 80/20. It doesn’t have to be perfect. And get your sleep. It’s so important, but so undervalued. It’s almost a badge of courage to operate on little sleep. It’s really not though. Get your sleep. You’ll live longer.

  8. Read — Authors pour their wisdom and experience into the books they write. They are literally a window into the minds of people smarter, wiser and more experienced. A book is a gift of knowledge that nothing else compares to. The more you read, the more it sets you apart from everyone else out there. No one reads as much as they should. The crazy thing is that just 10 pages a day is more than 99% of everyone. The 1% left are the most successful people in the world. Why? Because they learned from the books written by other successful people. Be the 1%.

  9. Seek joy — Bud, life is not going to be easy. Nor should it be. That wouldn’t make it fun. That wouldn’t challenge us, that wouldn’t allow us to overcome anything or break barriers. It’s easier said than done, BUT during those times when you truly don’t feel like there’s light at the end of the tunnel, force yourself to seek the joy in whatever situation you’re in. Because it IS there. This does two things, 1) it trains you to always look for the good 2) your attitude is contagious and will bring joy to everyone else around you. Be that man.

  10. The words you tell yourself matter — “Whether you think you can, or you can’t — you’re right. (Henry Ford). Our minds our our most powerful possessions. There is NOTHING that we can’t accomplish through the power of our thoughts. Guard your mind. Protect it from the nonsense and the noise of the rest of the world that just wants to be “fine” or “ok” or “medium”. You’re better than that and capable of more. What you tell yourself matters. The soundtrack in your head is precious. If you wake up and go to bed everyday telling yourself that you are meant for great things, that you’re strong, you’re capable, you’re confinement and brave… that’s who you will become.

I didn’t make this one up, but I’ve used this almost everyday since I read it years ago. It’s from the book Soundtracks by Jon Acuff. Use it as your own now.

I, Brooks Bell, choose my thoughts. I know that doing my best starts with thinking my best. Like laying a path for an adventure, these thoughts will set the course for my actions. I'm confident that what I think matters. I'm excited to see what happens next. I'm disciplined and dedicated to stick with it.

Here are ten things I know:

  1. Today is brand-new and tomorrow is too.
  2. I've got a gift worth giving
  3. The only person standing in my way is me, and I quit doing that yesterday.
  4. I am the CEO of me, and I am the best boss.
  5. Winning is contagious. When I help others win, I win too.
  6. Feeling uncomfortable is just a sign that my old comfort zone is having a hard time keeping up with me.
  7. Momentum is messy.
  8. Everything is always working out for me.
  9. I am my biggest fan.
  10. The best response to obstacles is to do it anyway.

In the morning: I've pulled the slingshot back. I'm not leaving this room, I'm launching from it, ready for a day of untold opportunities. I've packed honesty, generosity, laughter, and bravery for the road ahead. Watch out, world! It's time to step up, step out, and step in.

In the evening: What a day! The best part is I left myself a lot of fun things to work on tomorrow. When my head hits that pillow, I'm off the clock, storing up energy and excitement for a brand-new day.

I love you more than you’ll EVER know. One day when you have a little one of your own, you’ll get it. My heart belongs to you, your sisters and your mom and I promise to be the best dad I can possibly be for you! I’m not perfect, but just know that my love for you has no boundaries. It is unconditional and infinite. I can’t wait to meet you and watch you grow into the man I know you can be!

Love you always and forever,

Dad

(11/7/24) 8:28am