Kevin Bell

My Message To Other Entrepreneur Parents

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I feel guilty almost every day.

For some of you, that might be your go-to emotion. For others it might be anger. Or frustration. Maybe resentment or even sadness. All legitimate and valid.

But for me, guilt is where I land.

When I Monday morning quarterback the day and ask myself WHY I feel guilty, there’s never a super logical explanation that I’m able to give myself, but I’ll do my best to put it into words here for you. Maybe you resonate with this as well. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I feel guilty because I work 40+ hours a week and I’m away from home. I’m away from my girls. I’m away from the life that I truly want to be living.

THEN, when I AM home, work doesn’t stop. Even though I don’t have a job that I take home with me, I’m in that entrepreneurial grind building businesses on the side. And those wheels in my head NEVER stop turning.

It’s this gnarly catch 22 where I’m relentlessly pursuing these ventures to build a better life for my family, while at the same time feeling guilty that I’m doing that and I’m not as mindful and intentional with them as I want to be.

So that’s where the origin of the guilt is. And maybe you feel that too? We want to be everything and more for our family, but the balance is hard.

If you JUST worked your 9-5, lived paycheck to paycheck, barely made ends meet, no dreams, no aspirations, no motivation… or at least none that you were brave enough to act on… would you feel guilty knowing that you could be doing MORE for you family? I think I would.

Many parents do just that. It’s easier to be honest. A stable job. A moderate paycheck. Weekends off. Benefits. Shoot, I have all that with my W2, but I KNOW there’s a better life out there. A life where I don’t have to clock in and clock out. A life where I create and distribute my vacation time. A life where there isn’t a ceiling to the money I can make. A life where I don’t have to leave the house 40+ hours a week. That life is possible.

This isn’t something that I saw from my parents, or even my grandparents. This is a change I am making in the trajectory of my family and it’s one that I believe you can make as well. The trouble is, I feel guilty doing it. AND I would feel guilty not doing it. 🤦🏻‍♂️

So where’s the balance? How does someone find the right balance between working their ass off to build an empire/ take care of their family AND also being present and intentional with them as much as you can? I wish I had the answer, but the truth is, it’s a moving target. I don’t think there will ever be a complete balance. I don’t believe that there will ever be a point that you say “Eureka! I’ve found balance!” … also, let’s be honest, I don’t think you’ll ever even say the word “Eureka” regardless.

So if there isn’t a way to ever totally be balanced, what do you do? How can we stop feeling guilty?

Again, I’m not 100% sure (I’m literally no help), but I believe that it’s about asking questions and talking candidly about this very subject. I believe that the more AWARE you are as a parent, the better you’ll be. The more you Monday morning quarterback or to use a better term “debrief” your parenting with your spouse or a close friend, the better you’ll be. The more transparent you are with your kids about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, the more they’ll understand and appreciate you for it (later probably).

And lastly, the more you position yourself as a student of the study of parenting and accept that you are a work in progress in the ever evolving field of parenting, the less guilty you’ll feel.

Just like with anything, we get better with time. The problem is, kids constantly change. So we are forever learning how to be the best parent possible for them. With that, there’s no sense in trying to master it. That’s impossible. Instead, just get really good at owning your mstaks nad lerning fro them… 😉

#donuts #entrepreneur